Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Resolutions, Pt. 1


This year I am going to:
     Lose 30 pounds
     Stop dating losers
     Eat better
     Exercise more
     Go to bed earlier
     Be nicer
     Etc.

We've all done it: the current year ends and we reflect over the things we wish we'd do differently, coming up short of our expectations from last year, but certain this year will be different. THIS year, we will be better...

Over the next few weeks I want to take a look at some common attitudes about New Year's resolutions, and why resolutions fizzle out into a frustrating, hazy memory, around the time February is coming to an end. So often, many confuse others successfully overcoming some unhealthy pattern as them simply having achieved an "enlightened" state of more ridged self-discipline: He stopped biting his fingernails after decades of the habit because he FINALLY decided that he wanted to quit badly enough ... Those 20 extra pounds of "baby weight" fell off effortlessly after deciding that she wanted to lose the weight more than eat the ice cream ... The lousy guys that she's been attracted to are off of her contact list because she no longer wants to date losers ...  Making a decision about the particular "thing" results in overcoming it, right? RARELY is this the case.

RARELY does someone bite their fingernails because they absolutely love any aspect of fingernail biting: how it looks, tastes, or the effects on their teeth. RARELY does someone remain overweight for years simply because they love stuffing themselves to the max, meal after meal, day after day, month after month, year after year. RARELY does someone subject themselves to unhealthy relationships because they are enthralled with the excitement of wondering if their partner is going to beat them, cheat on them or somehow demean them.

Usually, the "thing" is not about the "thing". It's about the thing behind the thing.

According to Louise Hay in Heal Your Body nail biting is rooted in frustration; an eating away at the self; and oftentimes, feelings of spite toward a parent. Being overweight can be associated with fear and a need for protection; running away from feelings; insecurity/self-rejection; seeking fulfillment. This fear can sometimes be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive.

Pretty interesting, isn't it? The "thing" isn't really about the "thing"...

The bitter-tasting nail polish that serves to deter the nail-biter won't address what's at the root of the nail biting any more than meticulously counting calories and daily weigh-ins can uncover the root causes of being over weight in order to stop the flow of dis-ease into your life, into your body, once and for all.

This year, rather than make a list of "things" to change, decide to get your life in order. An orderly life is a healthy life. An orderly life flows out of a value for life. Valuing life begins with embracing an attitude of gratitude for being here on this earth as an active participant in this unpredictable, exciting, sometimes chaotic world. Participating in this world can be messy and uncomfortable, at times, but it sure beats the alternative!

Don't you want your life to be the healthiest and fullest that it can possibly be?

"We are the hurdles we leap over to be ourselves." ~ Michael McClure
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The information included in this blog is not intended to replace the council of your doctor. If you would like information about holistic health coaching through Elemental Fit, please contact us here.

1 comment :

Monica said...

I really appreciate this post. I am far too perfectionistic and need to get off the self improvement train. I appreciate what you said about getting in order because that sounds more calming and peaceful for those of us who run around a lot. Thank you :)